Admittedly, I don’t follow the news from the States as closely as I should. I’m certainly not one of those expats who wishes to cut all ties from their motherland but am definitely one of those expats who uses living abroad as an excuse to become increasingly indifferent. I do meet plenty of folks living abroad who are filled with contempt for their country. I, on the other hand, despite my detachment, have nothing but love, peppered with profound disappointment, for the good old US of A.
The latest news story since the great healthcare debate that has caught and held my attention is the colossally catastrophic oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. BP has made a proper mess and it appears all efforts thus far to curtail the crisis have been ineffective. Fortunately BP has not run out of ideas, according to recent reports. “If attempts to cap the well fail, BP may try to plug the leak by shooting debris — shredded tires, golf balls and similar objects — under extremely high pressure into the well’s blowout preventer in an attempt to clog it and stop the leak.”
I’m all about not letting waste go to waste, but is dumping trash into the already contaminated ocean a sound solution? It’s a bit like dousing a fire with asbestos or clogging a leaky damn with a cement mixture comprised of used baby diapers and broken syringes. I suppose the reality of it is, is that we already have a sea canvassed in Texas tea – what’s a little more rubbish going to hurt? In fact, I think we should be tossing in more trash.
Whether it’s leftover Senior Frog’s t-shirts, or vehicles abandoned by the recently beheaded, Mexico is abundant in refuse. For example, they have dead pit bulls in spades. It’s a no-brainer, really. Anyone who has seen a bloated corpse knows that they are highly absorbent and fur is already being used, in addition to human hair, in the current clean-up efforts. Using raft-building technology borrowed from the Cubans, Haitians and Dominicans, we can float the deceased canines over the spill site, conjoin them with stucco in the shape of a festive mariachi hat and lower the construction to cover the existing “top hat.” Not only will the spill zone benefit from an additional containment “hat”, but BP can feel like they made good on our southerly neighbors after destroying their namesake bay.
This has caught my imagination as well. I hadn’t heard the current solution. I like the idea of “Pollute us will it (the hole)- FINE- we’ll pollute IT. See how IT likes it!”
But I remain entralled by the Dr. Robotnik-esque-ness of putting a large concrete dome, followed by a larger and larger dome, or top hat, or giant mechanical bunny that absorbs the oil, encapsulates it into eggs, which it then shoots out the top of it’s head, important to avoid as you try and destroy Robotinik’s hovercraft…
Can you make us an illustration of that?